Sunday, December 06, 2009

xmas for the pengophileophile - 2009
i always have a somewhat tepid response to the ‘holiday season’. It probably began when i first noticed that having a birthday 3 days after christmas produced birthday presents less special than i thought i deserved. in my private practice life the season meant a decline in income as people decided presents for their family were more important than paying the family lawyer. then there’s the penguin thing - penguins are trotted out as part of the celebration and given to pengophiles like myself. but basically the penguins of xmas tend towards the schmaltziest or kitschiest - penguins as way too cute ‘collectibles’ [sic]. and the prior results in this blog have been consistent only in their inconsistency, except for referral to my favorite penguin cartoonist, jen. so for this year’s seasonal penguin angst presentation i offer possible purchases for people who love - or tolerate - people who love penguins. slideshow included. spread the word or take the hint.

1] the pooping penguin. baron bob who sells the pp says it all: ‘this windup candy dispenser will let loose tasty pellets (use small chocolate bits for the full effect) from his butt, even when he walks! we're sure kids will love him to bits due to the small presents dropped everywhere he goes.’ bob also offers the tum tum penguin plush cd/dvd holder [no picture] and the avenging narwhal action figure playset with interchangeable magical tusks and victim that allows you to impale penguins, koala bears, or seals on the single tusk of a narwhale. you’ll have to figure what they’re all doing in the arctic.
2] tactical nuclear penguin beer. it comes from a scottish brewery brewdog which claims this beer sets the new world record for the strongest beer at 32% alcohol content. per a warning on the label: "this is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance. in exactly the same manner that you would enjoy a fine whisky, a frank zappa album or a visit from a friendly yet anxious ghost." the brewers include a somewhat cute video about the beer showing them in penguin outfits. warning - they claim there will only be a limited supply.
3] penguin flashdrives. these are cute and would be helpful to pengophiles who use flashdrives between their home computers and public computers, e.g., at the law library. i would personally happily settle for the 1gb model, one of many from amazon.
4] everything from jen. the maven of the penguin cartoon has a variety of items from her home on café press. she has i brake for penguins bumper stickers like the one that begun me on my penguin internet wanderings.
so if you don’t have a personal pengophile maybe you should find one. their love can definitely be bought by one of these.


Blogger Jen said...

Great stuff! (Of course, I'm biased, having everything from a string of penguin bells to a penguin hat that doesn't quite fit - on the one flipper, it's good to be "easy to buy for", but beer is also easy; on the other, where am I going to put all the penguins?)

Another penguawesome thing to snag this year is a cool[1] calendar by intrepid photographer Laurie Allread, who's been to Antarctica[2] twice to shoot penguins[3].

(And where there are, I have to mention, no polar bears, unless they're on one of those tours.)

[1] pun intended
[2] OK, we do get a bit jealous that the Antarctic penguins get the good press and all the movies and Morgan Freeman reading bedtime stories to their hatchlings; and all the African penguins get is to be called "jackass" and "black-footed"; but in this case we'll make an exception, because these photos are exceptionally gorgeous.
[3] in the good way!

12/6/09, 11:26 PM  

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